CHATHAM - Being the parent of a disabled child is difficult in the best of circumstances.
For Robert Rodgers, the challenges have only multiplied.
The 50-year-old Chatham resident is the single father of three teenaged sons, each born with a different developmental disability.
After his divorce in 2003, Rodgers became his children's primary caretaker. When his ex-wife died in March, he became their only surviving parent.
Though the stress can be tremendous, Rodgers relishes his role as a self-described "dad to the max" or "everything dad."
He cooks, cleans, does laundry and most importantly, provides round-the-clock care for his sons' unique needs.
Rodgers also works full time from home as head of the software department for The Computer Department Inc. Clients across the country can reach him at all hours on his cell phone or laptop.
But Rodgers emphasizes that his career comes a distant second to his job as head of the "The J Team," the family nickname in honor of Joe, 18, and 15-year-old twins Jeff and Jon.
"My own dad liked to live life for himself and let us kids tag along for the ride. I like to live my life for my kids, and they let me tag along," he said.
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Walk into the family's three-bedroom home and Rodgers' devotion to his sons is immediately apparent.
Letters spelling "The J Team" hang on a wall of the front room,
surrounded by numerous photo collages of Rodgers and the boys during
birthday parties and father-son trips to places such as Washington, D.C., a
whale-watching cruise and professional sports games.
"I try to make life as fun as possible for them, because after I'm gone, life's probably not going to be very fun," Rodgers said, referring to Joe and Jon's need for lifelong care. "They'll probably have to go into a home."
Joe was born with Angelman Syndrome, a neuro-genetic disorder that is characterized by developmental delays, lack of speech, seizures and walking and balance disorders, according to the Angelman Syndrome Foundation.
He is unable to walk and communicate verbally and his body constantly makes stiff, jerky movements. But he has a great memory and an easy sense of humor, his father says.
Jon has autism, a complex developmental disability that affects social interaction and communication skills and is often characterized by repetitive patterns of behavior. He dislikes loud noises and crowds and prefers to sit alone, watching videos of his favorite Disney movie songs on one of his dad's computers.
His twin, Jeff, has Asperger syndrome, a milder autism spectrum disorder that's considered by many to be the highest functioning form. He excels in school, has his learners' driving permit and helps care for his brothers, Rodgers said.
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Rodgers says he always considered himself a family man and could not wait to start one of his own.
After high school, he moved to Springfield from Galva to take care of his grandparents. After he and his ex-wife, Rebeccah, were married, they tried to have children for seven years before Joe was born.
From the start, Rodgers was an involved dad, aiming to help his children enjoy life and maximize their abilities.
"We have always had the philosophy of let the kids be the kids and not try to make them into something they're not," he said.
When Rodgers' marriage ended eight years ago, he received full custody of the boys.
He juggled working in his office part-time during the day while the boys were at school.
"I'd go to the office and the kids would get home at 3:30 p.m., so I'd
have to be home at 3:30 p.m.," he said.
They lived in Springfield until 2008. About that time, Rodgers was able to start working from home full-time.
"During the day, I spend time at doctor offices, meetings with the school and working around the house doing laundry and cleaning," Rodgers said. "In between times, I am answering calls from clients and solving issues that they may be having with their software."
He does most of his work after dinner, while his sons are settling down for the evening.
Rodgers credits his employer with understanding his family's needs and allowing him to work a flexible schedule,
"If I worked for a bigger company, there's no way that I would keep my job," he said.
Rodgers' boss, Ed Russell, owner of The Computer Department, Inc., praised Rodgers' performance, calling him dependable and an "excellent programmer" on top of his duties as a father.
"I don't know how he does it. His patience is amazing," Russell said.
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Rodgers' resolve was put to the test when his ex-wife died on March 22.
"It used to be that, if something happens to me, there's always going to be another parent. The pressure is now on that there isn't anyone," he said. "
Rodgers relies on close friends and his grandmother, Velma Rodgers, for support and assistance.
Velma Rodgers, who lives in a nursing home, owns Robert Rodgers' house.
"If not for grandmother, there's no way I could have kept the kids because I would have had to make more money to pay a mortgage or high rent," he said.
In turn, Rodgers designates every Tuesday as "Grandma Day" and takes her to doctor's appointments and other errands.
Tricia and Rich Byrd of Springfield, whose son, Zachary, is best friends with Jeff, also help watch "The J Team" when Rodgers has to travel for work or when he takes one or two of the boys on a special trip.
"He's always done a lot with the boys," Tricia Byrd said. "I like him to be able to relax and have time to be a father to one kid at a time. Each kid has his own needs."
Rodgers said finding time to get away is important. This fall, he plans to take the boys to Niagara Falls.
"I live vicariously through my kids," he said. "Basically, my life is my family."
And though it has been a life fraught with obstacles, Rodgers wouldn't want it any other way.
He even designed a "J Team" business card with a family picture above the title "DAD" on the front that he carries in his wallet.
"I really can't see myself doing anything else with my life," he said.
Amanda Reavy can be reached at 788-1525.
Photo one: David Spencer/The State Journal-Register -- On Wednesday June 15,
2011, Joe Rodgers, 18, left, who has Angelman Syndrome, is lead from the
home by his father to the family vehicle in route to dinner at a local
restaurant.
Photo two: David Spencer/The State Journal-Register -- On Wednesday June 15, 2011,
the family poses in their living room for a portrait. From left to right:
Robert Rodgers, Jon Rodgers, Jeff Rodgers. At front is Joe Rodgers.
Photo three: David Spencer/The State Journal-Register -- On Wednesday June 15, 2011,
Jeff Rodgers, 15, on his learners permit, gets the car keys from his father
while Joe Rodgers, 18, right in the back seat, is ready to go. The family,
including Jon (not shown) was headed to dinner at a local restaurant.
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